The Hoosier Hair Gods – As a result of Mullets Are Again, Guys – Indianapolis Month-to-month

The Hoosier Hair Gods - Because Mullets Are Back, Guys - Indianapolis Monthly

Guys should take One long, hard look in the mirror before cheating on their stylist across the county line (salons outside Marion County are open while Indianapolis is envisaging a possible June 1 return). Why? Men may have a head start on the latest hair trend: long and shaggy. Neck-grazing locks were making a comeback for the boys before the coronavirus left them no choice. Tanya Foster, co-owner of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Salon, one of the area’s trendsetters, has watched stars like Blake Shelton and Bradley Cooper let go of it and believes normal guys can do it. Even mullet is cool again. β€œIt’s said, ‘I don’t care about my hair,’ and that in itself is stylish to me,” she says. The best place to get inspiration is on the stage. Which Hoosier rocker could be your hair god?

John Mellencamp. If you’ve got a natural side part, curl, and split rail fence to lean on, the Coug has several lengths to choose from: the thick feathered bangs of its American fool days, the heavier flop over an eye of the Uh-Huh era, and the full Fabio mane from The Lonesome Jubilee in the late 80s.

Best hair text: “He has greasy hair, a greasy smile / He said: Lord, this must be my goal” (“Pink Houses”)

Henry Lee Summer. Do you wish you had the long, gold style of a girl like Summer? It’ll take both time – his hardcore mullet flowed way over his shoulders – and a curling iron because the short bangs appear to be styled with heat and then feathered. The party in the background was simply brushed until it hit the top of the frizz.

Michael Jackson. He’s been wearing a wig for the past few years. But in the Billie Jean era, the King of Pop was just as sexy as having Jheri locks and a lone corkscrew up front. Nowadays, this curl would have her own Twitter account. You may need a perm for this – and a pomade.

Best Hair Poetry: “Old people judge you by the clothes you wear / They would swear that you are a hippie if you have long hair” (“People make the world around”)

Axl Rose. The Lafayette boy was reportedly kicked out of his home when he was 16 for refusing to cut his hair. But no one has ever thrown a bra on stage for a crew cut. Take the classic rocker vibe from the ladies – the long, sleek look may seem carefree, but if you’ve got a natural texture, you need a straightener. Add a headscarf if it’s greasy.

Best hair text: “Your hair reminds me of a warm, safe place / Where I would hide as a child” (“Sweet child of mine”)

Shannon Hoon. Blind Melon’s lead singer was the handsome ’90s alt-rock boy with his free spirited, ultra-long, one-piece hair down the middle, much like the male Alanis Morissette. The waves either looked greasy and thread-like, or were blown out and tucked behind his ears.

Best hair lyric: “And while he looks out / He hides the pain through his hair / Until the Lennon song comes” (“Drive”)

Rusty Redenbacher. Redenbacher and his dreads have been an integral part of the local music scene for 25 years and have toured nationally with his former band Birdmen of Alcatraz. NUVO once referred to the Mudkids singer as “aka the dreadlock guy at Northside News” in reference to the SoBro store he worked at. Warning: dreads do not require low maintenance until they have grown up for a few years.

Redenbacher (second from right) with the last IV.

John Hiatt. The legendary singer-songwriter is now 68 and doesn’t have as much hair as he used to. But you’d better believe that in the 1980s he wore a gentleman’s mullet, neatly combed back on top and neatly curled up at the nape of the neck.

Best hair lyrics: “He kept his boogers in his desk, he wore a tie / And he never washed his hair / You wished he weren’t there” (“The night that Kenny died” )

Vess Ruhtenberg. The longtime guitarist has made the rounds with his own Indy-based bands and national acts (most famously The Lemonheads) while keeping pace with a barely chaotic shag from long shifts. Want it? Learn to cut it yourself, just like he does.